The Importance Of Being Intentional In Relationships-An ABC Series-D Is For Date Nite

Rosalynn LasleyFaith, Marriage, Motherhood, UncategorizedLeave a Comment

A wise person once said that love is spelled T.I.M.E, and I wholeheartedly agree with that.  Time is one of the most valuable things we can give to someone else, yet it is one of the things that most of us have very little to spare.  We all have the same 24 hours in a day, but those 24 hours look different for every person and family.  Maybe you are the sole provider for your family, so you work long hours or multiple jobs to try and make ends meet.  Maybe you are a student and you spend HOURS studying or in class.  Maybe you are a stay-at-home mom, raising a child (or several.) Maybe you are a retiree, and/or empty-nester and volunteer somewhere.  Whatever your season of life, and whatever your days look like, we all spend our free time, on what matters the most to us.

To me it feels like our culture has everyone running in different directions constantly, and it’s difficult to foster close relationships with people, when you are neglecting quality time with one another.

Maybe you aren’t in a romantic relationship, but it’s been a really long time since you’ve gone to coffee with your best friend.

Maybe you see your best friend regularly, but it’s been ages since you’ve had a meal with a sibling or grandparent.

Maybe it’s your children who long for the one on one times with you where they have your undivided, uninterrupted attention.

Who is it in your life, that hasn’t recently had the pleasure of spending quality time, with just you?


That question brings me to this week’s topic:

D- Is For Date Nite

There is a couple in my life, that I have really admired over the years. They have a happy, healthy marriage, and they truly enjoy being with one another. As I have taken notice of their interactions and strengths in marriage, I have taken note of the things they have prioritized over the years.  One of those non-negotiable things in their life, is DATE NITE. It didn’t matter what was going on around them. It didn’t matter who had come to town to visit. Saturday was their date night, and there was nothing more important to them than that.

I love that they were so intentional with their marriage, they committed every Saturday night to date night. I don’t know where they went, or what they did, I just know that the wife dressed herself up for her man, and he took her somewhere just the two of them. Maybe they did nothing more than drive around and watch the sun set. Maybe they parked their car somewhere secluded and did whatever grown ups do when they are alone. Maybe they went to a coffee shop and talked about the weather, who knows? All I know is they stopped every Saturday and made time to pour into one another. They have made it their priority over anything else, and their connection is one of the strongest I have ever seen. Their marriage is solid, they absolutely adore one another, and they have set an incredible example for those of us just a season or two behind them in life, that time together means more than anything else but quality time doesn’t just happen, you have to see to it that nothing else gets in the way.

Love is spelled T.I.M.E

My husband and I are in a season in life where date nites don’t happen very often. It’s not that we don’t enjoy being alone together, but sometimes going out just isn’t in the budget.  Other times when we are able to set aside a little money for a special date, it’s hard to find someone to keep the kids. There are other times we’re just too busy, or tired to make time to be together one on one, and I’ve found that happens frequently not only in my marriage, but with many of my other relationships too. I have neglected to set aside specific, non-negotiable time, for spending it with the people that matter the most to me.

Date Nite doesn’t have to be elaborate or expensive. Sometimes the most enjoyable time I spend with my husband, is sitting up after the kids are in bed. We’re not dressed fancy or enjoying a meal at an expensive restaurant, instead we’re in our pajamas sharing ice cream and laughing at cat videos online. (The sound of his laugh is my most favorite thing ever!)

Other times we have gone out to lunch on a work day, while the kids are at school and we don’t have to worry about a baby sitter.

Sometimes date night requires being creative with your time and your resources, but investing time with the people you love, is absolutely worth it.

 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21

Date night can be something as simple as turning off the electronics, and playing a board game with your kids. We often joke that our oldest daughter’s love language is board games.

Maybe date night can be going for a walk around your neighborhood with a friend.

Maybe your schedules are different and so date night is actually during lunch, or first thing in the morning sipping coffee together before the sun comes up.

Maybe date night means setting a blanket on the living room floor and having a picnic with pb&j’s.

Whatever date night looks like, for the relationships that matter to you, it’s important to make it happen. Schedule your time, in the same non-negotiable way my loved ones have, knowing there’s nothing more important in this life than the people you love.

This week it is my prayer that we will all reevaluate the way we show our love to our families and friends, by being more intentional with our time.  I am going to challenge myself, and you, to set aside a specific day this week, and devote that time to someone that is important to you.  Date night doesn’t have to be expensive for it to be intentional.

In His Love,





About Rosalynn Lasley

I've been happily married to my high school sweetheart more years of my life than believable. It's true what they say, time flies when you're having fun. God has blessed us with 4 children, 3 we have the pleasure of raising, and one waiting for us in Heaven. I have always enjoyed writing but my call to ministry came during some of my most difficult times thus far. Writing for Alaska Christian Women's Ministry helped me start to make sense of all that God has been walking me through, even when sometimes it's messy and painful. I never realized that telling my story, even the ugly parts, could be encouraging to other women until I started writing. It's true that God will make beauty from ashes, you just have to let Him. My writing is often serious, and sometimes heavy in nature, but in real life I'm usually the complete opposite of serious. I LOVE TO LAUGH, and say that humor is my unofficial spiritual gift. I'm fairly awkward when first meeting someone, but if I can make you laugh then I think we'll end up being excellent friends. I'm certain that my husband is the only person on earth that doesn't think I'm all that funny. If I can make him laugh, I'm a happy girl! I have the blessing of serving in the junior high ministry at my local church, and find it such a joy hanging out with those smelly young people, week after week. They bless my heart far more than I could ever bless theirs in the short amount of time we meet each week.

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