The phone in my office rang, and there was a voice on the other end I didn’t recognize. She stated she had my daughter in her office, and in that instant, my heart skipped a beat.
My daughter’s voice trembled as she explained the details to me, and when I asked her if she was ok, she broke down in tears.
My momma heart ached, and I felt so helpless. I’M HER MOM! I SHOULD BE THERE FOR HER…but I was all the way across town at work. I had already missed a lot of time recently because I was in Nashville for the women’s leadership forum, so in that moment my heart was torn. My baby girl needed me NOW, but even if I left work immediately, I couldn’t get to her soon enough.
I’ve been in her shoes before, and I could totally understand why she was crying. I’ve cried for the same reason once upon a time, and I wanted nothing more than to drop everything to help dry her tears, but I was at work, and I needed to be there too.
Thoughts ran through my mind a million miles a minute, as I tried to figure out how to rescue her in a hurry…
- Her daddy couldn’t leave work, even though his job is closer to her school than my own. He doesn’t have the same flexibility I do.
- Nana was probably busy.
- Auntie already left work recently to save the day for one of our other daughters. It didn’t feel right asking her to leave her job again.
- The situation was too embarrassing to ask uncle.
- One friend would have to load up a couple of her own kids to come to my daughter’s rescue (and that’s if she didn’t already have her own appointments.)
- Another friend was out of town.
- I’m at least 25-30 minutes away, and really needed to be at work.
Feeling helpless when your children are in the midst of a crisis is really difficult as a parent. It’s execeptionally difficult when their situation brings them to tears.
I took a deep breath and promised her I’d find a way to rescue her. I wasn’t sure how I was going to sort it all out, but I would do the best I could, as fast as I could… that’s what mom’s are supposed to do, right?
I told her I would call her back in just a couple of minutes when I figured out a solution, and the thoughts continued to swirl inside my head. It felt like the thoughts rushed with the intensity of a hurricane.
Then it hit me.
I would call my friend that lives close by. Maybe she could be there to save the day, in the midst of this mom’s shortcoming.
The phone rang twice, when her cheery, sweet voice answered and said “HI FRIEND!!” (I love that she always sounds excited to hear from me, even though I was calling for help…)
“I need a super duper huge favor…” I explained (as I felt like I was failing my baby girl.)
“Sure thing…what’s up?!” she asked, giving me the opportunity to ask absolutely anything. My precious friend has her own life, her own family, her own set of things she needs to do, but she never once made me feel like I was an inconvenience. When she said “what’s up?!” I knew she was genuinely prepared for whatever I was about to ask.
She’s one of those friends I feel comfortable asking anything, not because I know she can meet my need, but because I know she cares enough about me that I can be honest with her when I’m in need.
She wouldn’t judge me for my mom fail.
She wouldn’t judge me for choosing work over rescuing my kid.
She wouldn’t make me feel like I inconvenienced her when I asked (rather than just saying no.)
She simply let me ask, and she would do what she could, if she could. If she couldn’t help herself, she would help me think of a reasonable solution. Friends like this are a true blessing from God.
As I explained the situation to her, and asked if she could help, I thought I might cry. I was embarrassed for my daughter, embarrassed for myself, and worried she would see how I felt inside.
It felt like I was failing my kid when she really needed me, and it totally broke my heart.
I needed to be at work because bills have to be paid.
My daughter needed me but I didn’t feel like I could get there fast enough even if I left immediately.
My friend said all she needed was 10 minutes, and she would be there to save the day…and she was. She dropped everything to be there when I couldn’t be, and I’m so incredibly grateful for that.
In the time it took for my friend to rescue my daughter, I thought a lot about what it meant to me to have a friend like her in my life. It meant SO much to be able to call her without warning, and ask for anything. My friend didn’t just show up for MY sake in a moment of crisis…she showed up because she loves my kid too. I think that means more to me than my own personal friendship with her (if that’s possible.)
My daughter is almost a teenager, and to know that she has several women in her life that show up for her, (especially in the the midst of crisis) means more to me than I can even explain in words. I am so thankful she has a handful of women in her life that not only show up when the going gets tough, these women are women worth looking up to too.
My daughter’s impressionable eyes and heart are not fixated on the lives of celebrities and supermodels. Instead, she’s intrigued by every day women, who show up for her in real life, when things are exciting or circumstances are tough.
My daughter is taking notice of the women around her, who are faithful to their families.
She’s curious about the women who are joyfully serving in ministries.
She’s loving women who take the time to talk to her one on one, and get to know the pre-teen parts of heart.
She sees the women who are faithful to study Gods word, and speak truth to her when she needs it most.
She sees you, precious friend, as you show up faithfully to church, service after service, even if you end up in the lobby with a noisy and curious toddler. You are faithful enough to show up time and time again, no matter how frustrated you may get. You are there, for your own family, and mine too. I have no doubt that my little sweetheart, will never ever forget how you showed up for her, especially that time when she was crying.
We ALL need women in our lives that not only show up, but are women worth looking up to. Not in an envious, she’s-so-perfect-and-I’m-a-mess sort of way, but in a way that says “you’ve handled your business, you’ve asked for (and given) grace, now show me how it’s done…” sort of way.
“A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden. First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!” Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of- GOD. Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!”
Proverbs 31:10-31 MSG
Even now, in my 30’s I have woman that are a stage or two ahead of me in life, that show up for ME in the midst of crisis. These women are women that share wisdom with me, and help me navigate my own seasons of marriage and motherhood. They don’t offer opinions at the drop of a hat, instead they offer wisdom from a place of imperfection. Their words are seasoned with Gods word, and sealed in heartfelt prayer. They’ve walked their own journeys through good times and bad, and their mentorship is precious to a woman like me. They’re willing to humbly say “this is where I’ve messed up. This is what I would have done differently. This is my strength, in spite of my weaknesses, and this is what I had to hand to the Lord…” that wisdom is so much more precious than an opinion.
What about you?
Do you have women in your life, that show up for you in good times and bad? Do you have women in your life that are worth looking up to? Maybe it’s just one, precious, incredible woman, that’s there for you no matter what. Have you thanked her lately, for being such a treasure in your life?
Have you ever considered the possibility that maybe someone is looking up to YOU?
Are you a woman worth looking up to?
I’m so thankful for the women in my life, and my daughters’ lives that not only show up, but are worthy of looking up to. I pray that somehow, someway I can live my life in a way that honors the Lord so much, that I too will be a woman worth looking up to. I don’t want to be admired from a place of perfection, but a living example of God’s amazing grace.
“Going through the motions doesn’t please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.”
Psalm 51:16-17 MSG
In His Love,