I hadn’t left my bed in days, aside from the essential trips to the bathroom, or to sit in the shower until the hot water ran out, only to return back to bed, and repeat again in a few hours. My heart was much to broken, to do anything more than that. My family had just left for the Sunday evening church service, when a familiar voice gently spoke out from downstairs, letting me know I was no longer alone.
I remember the day, as though it happened just yesterday. She was dressed beautifully, a white skirt with a delicate floral pattern, while I laid there with wet hair, and yesterday’s pajamas. I was so surprised to see her, and somewhat embarrassed about my current appearance and emotional state. I was in no condition for company, but she never seemed to mind.
“You’re missing church!” I said, as my voice cracked and tears welled up in my eyes.
“The Lord understands…” She replied, as she gently climbed up into my bed, and rested herself right beside me. She didn’t care that my hair was wet, or that I was still in my pajamas, she simply reached her arms across my unmade bed, and pulled me close as I cried. She didn’t speak a word. She just held me close as I cried into her shoulder, and she gently rubbed my hair until I was able to compose myself enough to speak. I don’t remember much else about what exactly I said in my sorrow, but I remember she cried right along with me, and didn’t leave me until I was done. I’m not even sure how much time passed as I poured out my heart to her, I just know that she never rushed me, nor made me feel like she had anywhere else to be. She was just present, whole heartedly, at the time I needed it most. She didn’t try to say the right things to make sense of what I was going through. She didn’t try to fix me, or undo my grief. She was simply present, and loved me right where I was, tucked safely in my bed with wet hair, dirty pajamas, and tears.
In in that moment of my darkest heartache, I fully understood the immeasurable value of her friendship.
“Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, each one came from his own place—Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. For they had made an appointment together to come and mourn with him, and to comfort him. And when they raised their eyes from afar, and did not recognize him, they lifted their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head toward heaven. So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.”
Job 2:11-13 NKJV
Job’s friends were similar to my friend. They knew of all that he was going through, and they were moved with compassion, out of love for their friend. His grief was unimaginable. It was so intense he was unrecognizable, but Job’s friends didn’t try to dismiss his pain, nor even make sense of it. They grieved right along with him. They sat with him in the dirt and let their presence help mend his heart.
We all need friends like that sometimes.
We need friends that don’t care how we look, when our hearts are broken.
We need friends that don’t care of our house is messy, or our appearance is unusual.
We need friends that will pull up a seat right beside us, and love us right in the middle of the dirt in our lives.
Sometimes WE need to be that Job-like friend to someone.
Sometimes WE need to be the ones to pull up a seat in the middle of someone else’s dirt, and love them right where they’re at.
Which one are you? Are you the one who needs a friend like Job’s? Are you going through some hard things and just need someone to love you in the midst of your dirt? Or are you able to be the friend to someone who’s heart is broken?
Even though it’s been several years since my friend was present in the hardest moment of my life, I will never ever forget the way it made me feel. Her presence made me feel loved more than anything else anyone ever said or did at the time.
And I’m so thankful she has been a friend like Job’s.
In His Love,