As I have gotten older, I have learned that I’m more of an introvert, especially when trying to cope with stress. When my heart and mind are overwhelmed, I like to be alone to sort through whatever chaos is going on inside of me. Trying to make sense of my own messy little brain makes it difficult to deal with much of anything else. When my mind is tired and my heart is heavy, it’s too much energy to be around many people. I can’t seem to fake a very good smile when I’m overwhelmed, and I don’t want to be greeted with one more shallow “how are you doing…” knowing telling the truth would be just too much. So instead I retreat, and try to deal with things alone. I find the strength to emerge, only once I feel like I can breathe again. It wasn’t until recently that I realized, that sometimes, alone is a dangerous place to be.
Lately I’ve felt that I can’t talk to anyone about the nonsense inside of my head. My husband has been sick, and I’m afraid he’ll just get sicker because he loves me so incredibly, he always puts my needs before his own. I don’t want my hard days to be more for him to carry. I feel like I can’t reach out to certain friends because I don’t want to be a burden to people who are dealing with their own, more difficult situations. I don’t reach out to acquaintances because I don’t want to be mocked for the little, bothersome things that seem to fester until I can’t stand it anymore. I keep to myself because I don’t want to be fixed, nor dismissed for how I feel. I isolate myself when I’m struggling because I don’t want to be gossiped about, or genuinely vulnerable to just anyone, so instead, I just distance myself, and wait for the storm to pass.
But what happens when isolation causes the storm to rage rather than pass?
Satan truly has had his way with my heart and my mind when I am alone. His lies are the loudest when I isolate myself and don’t have anyone to remind me of the truth. The longer I’m alone with my thoughts, the more believable his words seem to be, and before I know it, the anxiety is too deep to even reach out for help. Thats when my crazy really is showing, and now I must hide away because no one seems to understand.
4 Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. 2 And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry. 3 Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”
4 But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’”[a]
5 Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, 6 and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written:
‘He shall give His angels charge over you,’
‘In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’”[b]
7 Jesus said to him, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God.’”[c]
8 Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. 9 And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.”
11 Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him. Matthew 4:1-11
When Jesus was alone, that’s when Satan tempted Him. Satan said those things to Jesus when he knew it would be more appealing and powerful to believe the lies and schemes. He was hungry, and alone, and his lies had the most appeal when there was no one there to rescue him.
What makes me think he’s not going to do the same to me, when I isolate myself when I’m going through a hard time?
Yesterday I spent some time in prayer and asked God to help give me peace in the midst of a really anxious time in my life. I asked Him to help me reach out and talk to someone I can trust on the days my thoughts threaten to rip me apart like a pack of hungry wolves. I asked Him to help me overcome my worries and insecurities of what people will think when I share the messy parts of my heart. I asked Him to just help me, because I didn’t even know what else to pray, and then He reminded me of one little verse.
18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
One of the very first things God says in the bible, is that it’s not good for us to be alone. How easily I forget that when I’m overwhelmed.
Why does satan make me think I shouldn’t talk to my husband on the days my heart is overwhelmed? Because it contradicts what Gods word says.
Why does satan make me think I can’t talk to my friends when I’m really low, or just need to blow off some steam?
“Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NKJV
Satan is the most at work in our minds, when we are alone. If you struggle with anxiety, and isolate yourself when things get hard, please reach out to someone you can trust, and let them know you need them.
It it is not good for man (or woman) to be alone.
In His Love,