Life in this world has a common thread of loss.
Some loss is spread out through our lifetime while others seem to take place one instance after another. In the last few weeks, it has felt like loss after loss, heartache after heartache, broken relationships, illness, difficulties, conflicts, emotional struggle, rejection…pain…it all seems to be dangerously close to burying the hope I desperately cling to.
There were days, I found myself walking around in a stupor of murky confusion, allowing the ache of what I was feeling around me to encircle me like a heavy fog.
In those moments, I was easily forgetting that my Savior was called a man of sorrows. Loss and grief made him weep. I am reminded that my King allowed tears to fall.
John 11:35 “Jesus wept.”
For one reason or another, I find myself trying to be strong or longing to numb myself from the tenderness my heart feels from the loss. In anger, I want to shield myself from my soul’s anguish of betrayal. And it seems unacceptable that people around me see tears fall. I see what bottling up that emotion does…it will come out one way or another. I can choose to allow the tears to fall and embrace the healing that can come along with grief. Or I can decide that I will not feel it, and I will not acknowledge it and force everyone else around me to learn to deal with my unhealed pain. That path feels even more unacceptable.
Journeying through this world I find that it makes life a touch easier when another person has walked through a similar hurt and at least then I do not feel alone.
Deuteronomy 31:8 “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
In an unfathomable way it brings tears of deep sorrow to my eyes as I see and understand that God’s own Son knows the throbbing that follows a strike upon the mind, heart and flesh…
He has felt the sting of betrayal…the agony of flesh being torn and the heartache of knowing as he looked upon the face of another—he held no value in their eyes. He has been rejected when he loved deeply, he has faced injustice when he spoke truth, and he invested himself fully and was repaid with ungratefulness…
I feel my wall of protection fading into the back ground of the truth because the more I surround myself with the words and experiences that Jesus lived, the more I see how much He can truly relate. I see that he truly cares about my life and heart. And now I can see and trust that the path he has walked in his hurts and loss…is a beautiful example of how to walk through the hard places in my own life.
Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
My own sorrow in a way had given me the strength to love and serve others. All that hurt, all the emotions…God somehow helps me to use them to show up with compassion to other people who desperately need the love of Jesus, as I do. I have absolutely seen that in my own brokenness, God uses my sensitivity to Him and others to love on those around me. In those moments, my deep need for God to lead my next step shows my heart for him in a tangible way that words cannot explain. .
So cry tears—they honor the loss.
Grieve—it brings healing and compassion.
Keep moving—toward God and others in times of suffering. It is in relationship that we find our restoration.