I bought my daughter a purity ring…
At first, I considered getting her one because of the stories and reasons that my mentor and her family had given.
I wanted to encourage my daughter. Help her to find out who she is and whose she is. Inspire her to practice abstinence. Challenge her to focus on maturing in responsibility and relationships. Encourage her to stand on biblical principles…
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality” 1 Thessalonians 4:3
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Matthew 5:8
Then I realized…that’s me wanting to look good and sound right…
When I really look deeply at some of the reasons why I want her to wear a purity ring, it comes down to the fact that I’m afraid.
She is loyal and trusts so easily—will she trust that easily with her body?
She wants acceptance from her friends—who will she chose to fill that yearning to belong?
She opens her heart and loves deeply—will she fall hard for someone and then give herself to a person who offers her attention rather than loves her?
My girl wants to be the receiver of someone’s affections. She wants to be loved, just as any girl desires.
I am intensely aware of the world that she lives in, for the majority of her day. She goes to high school where the bulk of the people who attend are sexually active. The fact that she is not puts her in the minority and thus she becomes a target for people to make fun of her for not having the same experiences. Many of her classmates are quite comfortable with drugs and/or alcohol. She continually receives pressure from those around her to fall in with the crowd.
As I sit here and listen to some audio teachings about the gift of abstinence, tears start falling down my face.
I hear the love and honor pouring out of these teachings directed at my girl.
Tears are trickling down my cheek.
Such a strange conflict going on in me, I am elated to be listening to words that remind my daughter what a gift she is…I am torn with a strange grief that cuts deeply in my memories. Bitter tears burn my eyes to think that even as a child in single digits, I never knew what it was like to be untouched.
A wave of shame hit me and several thoughts went rapidly through my mind, “how dare I want something for her that I could never have or be.” “How can someone who had never lived a pure life ask something so great from their child?” “How dare I…”
Tears poured down my face and I choked on the truth of these realizations.
Memories flew by and threatened to suffocate me.
The arms of a loving friend reminded me that I am not alone and that I am loved. As her hold comforted my aching heart; her words came right from the heart of Jesus, reminding me that my heart and longing for my girl is good and godly. It’s what God would choose for His girl. And I knew that she was right.
I chuckled and I lifted my head as I realized I desperately wanted to give my daughter something I was never offered…a celebration of purity!
I raised my head with the joy to know that with Jesus, truth and love can be poured into places I had previously seen as discouraging or downright shameful. God is good and He is in the business of redeeming.
“It is because of Him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has been become for us wisdom from God: our righteousness, holiness, and redemption.” 1 Corinthians 1:30
My lovely friend was right—I do have a huge need that only God could fill. I don’t know what that journey is going to look like; however, I do know that it’s going to be a grand adventure!
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