I have so much to be thankful for right in this minute.
I forget that all too often.
I forget that my circumstances don’t define me.
I sure find myself at times forgetting to take my eyes off of what is going on around and/or in me.
I forget to look to the only one that will heal me, grant me peace and love me unconditionally.
Earlier in the week I found myself seeing only the chaos around me and I was feeling super overwhelmed. I was ready to “take a knee” not out of reverence and prayer but out of a mindset of defeat and giving up. At this time, I had a friend who helped me to correct that perspective. She reminded me of all the changes going on in my life. It seemed like all of the sudden I realized there was so much more that impacted my emotions than the hard conversations with my teen that I was focusing on at that moment. As a result of being able to see the broader picture, my mental posture got a little taller, through my growing awareness of the truth in her words.
Today however, I didn’t have the reminder of a trusted friend to bring me back around to the place of me letting go of my disappointment and frustrations. The recognition of truth didn’t come and that defeated feeling followed me, weighing down my heart and restricting my ability to recognize Godly perspective.
In my thoughts I began constructing this venting/whining account to God, letting Him know the reasons why I was feeling so melancholy. To me this was the first step that helped me to turn my thoughts in the right direction.
Bringing my thoughts and heaviness that I felt to God may have looked like a grumbling session but the fact that I pointed them to God brought me down a much more life giving path. Instead of me turning my hurts, my unfulfilled plans and the weariness of the days inward, toward myself—like a pouting child I brought them like a broken toy to my Father.
I can easily envision myself holding out my hands and saying, “look at this—it’s not working and I want a new one!” In my ignorance I selfishly brought these things to him that I wanted taken away.
Though a few moments into my childlike rant, God brought to mind this beautiful time of worship last week. I found that at just remembering that time, I was being guided toward worship of a great God with a deep sense of gratitude in my heart.
My friend Melissa, who led this time of worship, reminded me to begin by saying thank you for the simple things…so I did.
I was thankful that I was driving a car that had plenty of fuel.
I was thankful for a friend that I love spending time with, making an invite for me to join her…even if at that moment; I couldn’t get a hold of her to do so.
I was thankful for the freedom in my schedule to meet up with her, even if today I wouldn’t be able to see her lovely smile.
I was thankful for deep connection and laughter.
That was where my thinking and attitude changed. I realized that the day was warm and sunny. And though I was disappointed at not being able to be with my beautiful friend, I had a tremendous amount of blessings to be thankful for.
I think that God blessed me even more as I turned to him with my childish poutiness. As soon as my thoughts turned to a place of gratitude with Him…that friend that I was so eager to spend time with…got a hold of me!
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