1 Thessalonians 5:18
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
I am greedy. Not in the traditional sense of the word. I mean, when it comes to possessions, I suppose I struggle against American commercialism with the best of us, but as I often find myself telling my husband in moments of emotional discontent, “I just want it all!”
Let me explain by giving you some examples:
I want to be disciplined and dedicated and get up every morning to run five miles, but I also want to sleep in and eat donuts for breakfast.
I want to go on grand outdoor adventures in our beautiful state, but I also crave days at home where I stay in my PJs and drink copious amounts of coffee and binge watch TV shows and eat pizza for dinner.
I want to travel the world, but I want to live down the street from my grandmas.
I want to be a stay-at-home mom one day, but I also want to be a full-time teacher.
I want it all, and let me tell you, the struggle is REAL.
The world is a beautiful place and I do not want to miss out on a single morsel. I view this kind of greediness as both a blessing and a curse. It pushes me to live life to the fullest. On the other hand, it leaves me feeling graspy (at least that’s what I call the feeling… Microsoft Word is underlining it in red, so apparently it’s not a real word.)
In moments of trying to have and do it all, I cling so tightly to things, people, or experiences I think will make me happy, and am often disappointed at what I fail to fit in my grasp. I have so much, but at the same time, it feels not enough. In my grasping for more, I become frustrated and discontent.
The cure for my state is simple—give thanks! Gratitude frees me from grasping. When I look at what I have and realize all is grace, I can let go and freely receive all God has for me in each person he has placed in my life, each commitment on my calendar, each task to be done. All of it is a gift. When I accept life as such, I am at rest, able to fully enjoy what I have.
This past week, when I have found myself wanting more than what I have in the moment, I have started to sing out His praise as an act of defiance against my wandering heart. When I list His gifts to me, the list goes on and on.
When I loose my hands, I find them full.
Hallelujah. Christ is the “all” for which I am always grasping.