This last week I was reminded of just how important the words are that we say to ourselves. Not only do we impact others by the things that we think…we also choose the direction of our lives by the things that we choose to ruminate on.
So much of what we tell ourselves has the power to create or tear down because it is the most often repeated thing that we hear and it is by far the loudest voice in our day.
For many years I allowed the circumstances of the world around me to dictate my thoughts and steer the direction of my emotions. What that led to was feeling like I was on a wild roller coaster instead of living life. I was feeling as if I was constantly being thrown up and down and tossed to and fro. I felt as if all that I could do was to hold on for dear life and hope that nothing happened to me that would be bad enough to throw me out of the crazy ride!
As I existed and allowed these circumstances to be the barometer of my life, I proved to be much weaker than I thought as I tried in vain to hold on to daily life with my own strength. I knew I wasn’t strong enough and I decided to let go and see what happened. I was flooded by apathy as the realization of not being enough was overwhelming. Feelings of worthlessness and disgust at me because of my inability to just do life daily were constantly in my thoughts.
Your thoughts…my thoughts…the thoughts that we tell ourselves matter much more than can be imagined.
My thoughts were incredibly negative. They were polluted by my focus on the things that I was doing wrong in a way that was toxic and harmful. I struggled to keep my head above the water…daily.
When I finally turned to the gentle whisper of my good good God, the things found in his word were a stark contrast to the life I was living and the truths that were found there.
Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
One thing I knew without a doubt…God, I need you to change my thinking.
I was convinced by the enemy that I was impotent. My words were a constant mantra of “I can’t…I won’t be able to…I never will” I was ruled by negative and critical words.
Romans 12:2 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
When I spent time with the loving God who sees me, I felt something in my spirit tell me that it was time to change those things that I was repeating to myself. Not in an outright command, but through the assurance and the gentle conviction of reading His truth. Through the loving actions and lives lived of those people who embrace God in them that I had around me. The more that my heart turned toward knowing, loving and seeking the heart of God…the more that I was shown that the negative thoughts and polluted words that I told myself (and occasionally still do) were inconsistent with the God of peace and joy and love that I was pursuing.
The things that we tell ourselves and the directions of our thoughts matter tremendously. Today, my choice is different than the way that I have lived my life for many years. I will no longer be a prisoner to lies and deception…God I need your truth. I no longer want to be deceived by the things that I used to think and dwell on. I know that You are truth and love…and I know that truth will set me free. God, I want freedom. Help me to capture those thoughts that aren’t of you and teach them to obey You.
God help me to seek you honestly…openly…transparently. Help me to seek you first and nourish my thoughts, emotions and soul with Your truth. Thank you that I get to grow in relationship with you daily and I ask that through the life I live may I glorify you.