You know the ones—when it feels like situation after situation it feels like you get pounded by the onslaught of living life in a fallen world. Maybe I just didn’t get enough sleep…maybe it was just my perspective…maybe it was a bit of both—I just felt worn out.
It was an early morning and already I felt as I was trying to stand under a massive waterfall.
Constant pressure was pounding on my back and it was difficult to breathe. I felt alone and as I struggled to stand—I was unsure of my footing. I was exhausted by the effort of trying to fight what felt like a losing battle. Slowly, the realization came that it was too overwhelming and should I keep trying to do this on my own I’m going to be crushed.
Ok, God, I’m at the end of me—Dear God, why does it take me so long to give up my own will—my own desire to fight on my own?
As I took a step back, somewhat in shock of just the sheer volume of the goings on around me, I couldn’t help but feel as if I was going to be thrown off my feet.
In almost a daze, I prayed in wide-eyed shock—“God, I’m relying on you to be my strength—I have nothing left…I need you to be my shield and my defender—I don’t need to be the one to justify or defend myself because I know that every step I take is by prayerful consideration and with a heart that is for looking to do your will in the choices I make…”
Instead of choosing to stand on my own, I reached out and grabbed a hold of my Jesus who was already there with His hand out—
Through the words of close friends and through people I didn’t even know, God used people around me to be Jesus to me—to pour out love and to encourage me to keep walking forward. I love that there were words of comfort and edification by loving friends. And in the same manner I was loved on by people who I had never met before! I am amazed that as I had conversations with these people they encouraged me with the words that I had prayed to my Father God, earlier! I was so seen and heard that it was undeniable that God was listening!
I find myself being so thankful for those moments when I cry out (or in this case I muttered out) those truths that helps me to get through my daily battles.
Thank you God for your faithfulness.
Help me to seek You in all I do and to stand on Your word…first…