There are days when putting one foot in front of the other just feels tough.
When the journey feels long and confusing.
When seeing your own brokenness and pain amounts to feeling more hurt.
When understanding isn’t there and remembering good is hard to do.
It has been a hard fight—many more times than I care to admit, my first reaction is to see things and behave in the way I have lived for the majority of my life. Distrusting and interpreting situations through tainted lenses that can’t see the good for what it is and instead sitting in a place of doubt and in apprehension.
I have to make a conscious choice many times daily to remind myself of the good and right things and even still—I fall incredibly short. I have tried to work things out in my own will and strength and I have fallen time, after time, after time. In my own brokenness and in my own determination to do what is right, I kept falling short. God help me to not be overcome by distractions–
Time to stop the insanity and do something different.
Instead of falling over and over and trying to work things out in my own will, I have made a choice to step into relationship with people who by their living example help me to align myself to the things of God. People who have shown me what it looks like to live in grace, (free and unmerited favor) mercy (not getting what you do deserve) and love.
With the majority of people that I am in relationship with they press into me in a way that stretches me and I am constantly challenged to look at what I think and believe not only because of the truth told to me, but also because of their living example. Do I fail in seeing what I can learn in those relationships—heck, yes, I do! I have messed up more times than I care to admit. The question is—am I willing to see and listen to what God has for me?
Proverbs 12:15—“The way of the fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel.”
I have played the fool too many times to count. Sad to say, many times I’ve allowed my emotions to become so strong they cloud my ability to hear and receive what God has for me. I allow for the pain or hurt in a situation to derail me and find that I many times I need help getting my thinking and believing back on track. That place of being undone doesn’t have to do with the person that I am with or the situation that is in front of me. It has to do with a place in me that is broken and hurting and needs to be washed clean in God’s mercy, grace and love. It has to do with a part of me that God wants to touch, to heal and to redeem.
Help me to remember that you guide my steps and that Your fingerprint is in all that I do, all that I experience and all that I feel. God help me to remember Your love for me and who You say I am. God help me to daily trust You. Your Will be done.
I am tremendously encouraged with the fact that God in His goodness continues to pursue me so that I get the opportunity to know Him more!