Dumping the Mommy Guilt

Carol DunfeeMotherhoodLeave a Comment

The mommy phase of life is hard.

The retching sound that wakes you up at midnight engages your sympathetic gag reflex. The child who cannot hear “clean your room”, but can hear “ice cream” a mile away, may try your patience. The tenth un-flushed toilet in two hours just might send you over the edge. The 3:30 announcement of a 6:30 concert makes you throw all other plans out the window.

It is hard enough to keep kids clothed, fed, clean, and healthy. Then we have to make sure they get a good education and develop their talents. Already, we are talking about a full-time endeavor!

Only that’s not enough. We try to make it even harder!

We feel pressure to make each birthday memorable enough for a scrapbook. We feel negligent if we don’t have our child engaged in sports and music. We feel jealous of the fairy-tale bedrooms in our Pinterest feed. We feel guilty for not taking them on exciting vacations every year.

We think our kids need all these extra things, but the budget won’t support them. So we take on extra work or extra debt to provide them. Only then we feel guilty for not simplifying our lives like the latest home organization guru suggests.

Is it really supposed to be THIS hard?

I want to make sweet memories with my children, but I stress out over ALL that must get done before we can play. By the time everything is done, I’m a grumpy mess and I just send the kids outside to play so I can decompress. Sound familiar?

My children need a mother who stays focused on the main things and lets the other things go. My children don’t want perfection from a Pinterest board. They want me to be available, relaxed, and kind. I can’t be what they need when I focus on a impossible list of demands.

I need to simplify. 

We all need to simplify. It is impossible to do all that we and society expect of us. We carry around needless guilt for all the superhuman things that we just can’t do.

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” –Matthew 11:28-30 NLT

Maybe we are carrying too much. More than we were intended to carry.

Let’s get back to basics: Jesus and relationships. 

Let the extras sit on the sidelines. We can pick them up when the most important things are done.

About Carol Dunfee

Carol is a wife, mom, piano teacher, and blogger for Alaska Christian Women’s Ministry. Having grown up in church, life made her dissatisfied with empty religious traditions and trite answers. She discovered that Jesus alone is the way to real life and true contentment. Ever stumbling and learning herself, she invites her readers to experience God’s love and forgiveness like never before. Read more at CarolDunfee.com.

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