I hate making mistakes.
I know, ‘hate’ is a really strong word. But messing up has negative consequences that I don’t like to deal with.
In a previous post, I talked about why failure is actually a good thing. Those are good tips to remember to keep your chin up and learn from past mistakes.
But even when we understand what went wrong and how to avoid that mistake again, how do we actually move past it? How do we stop regretting our mistakes – is that even possible?
And why are some mistakes harder to overlook than others? If God is not upset with me, if He’s not holding it against me, then why am I still distraught?
One time a close friend told me I needed to give myself permission to make mistakes. I scrunched my nose, because I had no idea what that meant. I don’t expect myself to be perfect; I know that’s not possible this side of Heaven.
Or, do I?
Women are often hard on themselves. Rather than being thankful for all the things we do right, we stew over what we did wrong. And sometimes we tell ourselves that we’re dumb, that we’re not worthy, that we shouldn’t even try anymore.
But Scripture says there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Rom 8:1) So why are we condemning ourselves when we mess up?
Because we don’t realize that’s what we’re doing.
I will never forget the day God pointed this out to me. I did something I didn’t like, and I grunted with disgust. I rolled my eyes and shook my head.
God said very plainly in my spirit, “Stop scoffing at yourself. I don’t like that.”
What? Scoffing? And then it hit me – I was putting myself down by those actions. To scoff means “to speak derisively; mock; jeer“. Basically, without using words, I was telling myself I was stupid for messing up.
Since that revelation, I’ve been working hard to catch myself so there is no more scoffing. While I’ve never told myself verbally that I’m a loser, I certainly have thought it from time to time. And that is a slap in God’s face, because He created my body and personality just the way He wanted, and He knew I’d fail from time to time. He doesn’t expect exceptional behavior all the time.
We have to resist the urge to believe that messing up makes us a loser and no one will like us anymore. That is a lie from the enemy.
God passes out grace; we just need to take it.
Next time you make a mistake, refuse negative thoughts toward yourself. Remind yourself how much You are loved by the God of the universe. Forgive yourself, examine your expectations, and after making restitution with those you injured, move on. When you think about the situation, smile, because that moment doesn’t define who you are.
Give yourself grace, girl. Give yourself grace.
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- Are You Caught in the Comparison Trap? - July 11, 2017