Why Busyness Can Make Us Unattractive

Jen CudmoreFaith0 Comments

My husband used to hate it when I had productive days.

You know what I mean by productive: I got both kids home from their activities, made a fabulous dinner, cleaned the house, finished the laundry, ran errands, and kept up on my writing/blogging – all after I got home from my day job at 4pm. On those days, I felt like such a success!

And my husband typically felt annoyed and unsettled.

What!?!? Why wasn’t he proud of me, happy that I had accomplished so much in so little time? Being a mom is hard work. Couldn’t he be pleased with the fact that everything had gone so smoothly? Where was the support?

I remember the day when God told me that busyness is unattractive.


I remember the day God showed me that busyness is unattractive.

During a visit to an old friend, I witnessed firsthand how a woman rushing about her home, striving to accomplish much in a small amount of time, detracted from her natural beauty. I watched her zip around her kitchen cooking a meal, complete with dessert. She multi-tasked, of course, because that’s what busy wives and moms do. We chatted about various topics, and I enjoyed the conversation.

But I would’ve much rather she slowed down and made eye contact once in a while. Or let me help so there is more of a feeling of unity. At one point I even considered leaving the room because I felt so restless. Her face was warm from her rushing about, and she sighed a lot. I don’t recall seeing her smile much, and she never laughed.

I didn’t take it personal – been there, done that. It actually made me take a hard look at myself.

And I finally understood why my rushing about was such a turn-off to my husband. I did everything in my life at a fast pace, full of energy and determination. I was always thinking (and talking) about the next thing that needed to be done. And it made him feel tired. Anxious. Unsettled.

Aren’t women supposed to be busy? Aren’t they supposed to accomplish a lot for their families? That’s what the Proverbs 31 woman looks like – busy.

There is no denying that women have a lot to take care of. Yet it’s not about what we accomplish, but how we go about it.

We can choose not to be frazzled. We can choose to not let the stress get to us. We can choose to do our responsibilities peaceably, rather than rushing. We can choose to smile as we go about our day, no matter how busy we are. We can choose to not pack our schedules too full.

Busyness creates an environment of unrest around us.

Our family doesn’t want to watch us go through life spun-up all the time, and they don’t want to get caught in our tornado of constant go-go-go. Our goal must be to promote peace in our home, so our families can feel comfortable there. It’s supposed to be our sanctuary. And we have a major influence over the atmosphere there.

‘Busy’ is fine. When we are balanced in the rest of life.

Let’s be sure that we take a few deep breaths, smile often, and slow down a bit.


Blessings, Jen

About Jen Cudmore

I'm a wife, mom, blogger and novelist who also works a day job in the medical field. I grew up on the Columbia River Gorge, earned a BA in Psychology at Northwest University, and am currently very active in my church. My passion is inspiring women to seek Jesus in all aspects of life so they can recognize where they are living in bondage and be set free to live the abundant life God promises. You can connect with me at www.jencudmore.com.

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