Why Doesn’t She Like Me?

Jen CudmoreTrialsLeave a Comment

I invited her over half a dozen times.

She never came.

She always had an excuse why she couldn’t make it.

So finally I gave up. I could read her loud and clear. She didn’t want anything to do with me. The trouble was, I had no idea why.

Did I say or do something to offend her? She never let on that I had upset her.
Did I somehow intimidate her? She’d never seemed that uncomfortable in my presence.
Did she not think we had enough in common? I thought we always had plenty to talk about.

It made me sad, because I really believed we could have been good friends.

I learned long ago that not everyone gets along well, even Christians. Sometimes it’s personality differences. Sometimes it’s religious differences. Sometimes it’s lifestyle differences. We can’t please everyone, so it’s silly to try.

Yet we feel the sting keenly when other women don’t like us.

No one likes to be rejected. No one enjoys being misunderstood. The disapproval of others can be hard to deal with, because women are relational creatures. Yet our self-worth cannot be tied up in whether or not other women show us appreciation. 

Nor can we choose to be offended when we’re ignored or disliked by others. We have to let it go. 

Here are some things to consider when other women don’t care to get to know you.

  • Decide if an apology may be necessary. We tend to stay away from people who have upset us. If you don’t know why she is being standoffish, then perhaps you need to ask her what happened so you can work it out between you. Own up to your mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
  • Sometimes there is nothing you can do to close the gap. It’s unrealistic to hope everyone will like you. We all have our own personal preferences and style of relating to others. You may need to just let this one go and seek friendship elsewhere.
  • Remember that hurting people will act with self-preservation. There may be something about you that stirs her insecurity, and she can’t handle being around you. Let’s give women the grace to work on their issues without judgement.
  • God accepts you for who you are and loves you unconditionally. While it may sting when other women reject you, God will never reject you. Refuse to believe there is something wrong with you, because God made you this way and He delights in you, flaws and all. We’re all a work in progress, right? 
  • Choose not to worry about it. It’s okay if there is something about you she doesn’t like, if she doesn’t choose to be your friend. God will bring you other meaningful friendships. Dwelling on the rejection will only make you more upset; it’s a waste of time and energy.

God wants us to live at peace with each other. We must let other women have their opinion about us, however off base it may be, without holding it against them. Their opinion doesn’t define us.

Do you have any tips for dealing with rejection from other women?

Blessings, Jen

About Jen Cudmore

I’m a wife, mom, blogger and novelist who also works a day job in the medical field. I grew up on the Columbia River Gorge, earned a BA in Psychology at Northwest University, and am currently very active in my church. My passion is inspiring women to seek Jesus in all aspects of life so they can recognize where they are living in bondage and be set free to live the abundant life God promises. You can connect with me at www.jencudmore.com.

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