Do Your Friendships Measure Up?

Jen CudmoreTrialsLeave a Comment

“When I grow up,” my daughter told me one day, “I hope I have a friend just like Ms. Christy.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Because she isn’t afraid to tell you when you’re wrong. She helps you to make good choices.”

I had to laugh at my daughter’s comment. I can’t count how many times my friend Christy has confronted me on a negative attitude or skewed perspective, reminding me of God’s principles.

God created women to be relational, so it’s natural for us to build friendships. But are we picking the right friends? Are we being a good friend to others? And what does a healthy friendship look like?  Is it simply meeting for coffee or planning parties or going shopping together?

Companionship is important, but there is more to it than that. The book of 1 Samuel states that Jonathan and David were linked at the soul. In a couple places the Bible speaks of their great love for each other. They had a unique friendship and a commitment to each other that centered around God.  That’s what we need in our lives today.
In chapter 23 of 1 Samuel, Jonathan helped David “find strength in the Lord” and told him “Don’t be afraid” because God is bigger than his circumstances.They made a covenant before the Lord to watch over each others’ families.
Every woman needs godly friendships like that of David and Jonathan. Real friends keeps us accountable, feel our pain, and encourage us. They don’t look down on us when we fall, but inspire us to get up and try again. They see the best in us, no matter what.

As we navigate a world full of sin and selfishness, we must develop a support system of people who won’t allow us to stay lukewarm in our faith. Not people who are always at church every time it’s open, or who give platitudes when life is tough, or take our side on every issue.

We need friends who are willing to be real and love unconditionally. We need a deep commitment to digging into the tough issues of life and supporting each other in spiritual growth. And we need to give each other permission to confront our bad habits, to come along side us when we’re out of line and nudge us in the right direction.

I’ve been blessed by several beautiful women who inspire me to be better. Yet it took years to cultivate these relationships, to learn to be vulnerable and real. I had to learn how to be a good friend in order to keep good friends.

Life is often difficult and we need each other. Let’s be friends. Real, honest, and committed to excellence.

Blessings, Jen

About Jen Cudmore

I’m a wife, mom, blogger and novelist who also works a day job in the medical field. I grew up on the Columbia River Gorge, earned a BA in Psychology at Northwest University, and am currently very active in my church. My passion is inspiring women to seek Jesus in all aspects of life so they can recognize where they are living in bondage and be set free to live the abundant life God promises. You can connect with me at

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